You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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