is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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