So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize