i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
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