found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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