when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
