I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Dignity is for republicans.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
