yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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