And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize