I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
