A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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