So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
