I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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