Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I think my moral compass just broke
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
