dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize