He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
