i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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