fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
