i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
thus making me awesome and them whores
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
