i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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