do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize