just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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