whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
