She's JV to your varsity
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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