Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
