I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
