Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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