I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize