Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
someone owes me an orgasm
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
