I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
