apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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