oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
