i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
