I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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