What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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