she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
