Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
