she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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