Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
