READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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