Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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