I feel like abortions should bother me more
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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