Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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