she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
