ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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