I must be too annoying 4 u.
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
