jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
