These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
