does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
