I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
