On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
