I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
