I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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