i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I think your dad took our porno
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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