first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
