Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
