is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
