One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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