My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize