You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize