oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
