I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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