I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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