I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
