He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
