Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
His nipple licking is glorious
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